Mark Pirro's latest offering,
"Rectuma," sees a human ass form a mind of its own,
detaching itself from its host, and growing to a
monstrous size to wage war on Los Angeles with a gaseous
wrath. Nope, after 20 years Mark Pirro hasn't gone soft
on us.
So what brought about the story of a giant ass
attacking Los Angeles? Do you have anal phobia?
With all the problems Los Angeles has been facing
over the last few years, what with all the assholes
running things, I thought it was time to take the
problem literally. Actually, I’ve always thought asses
are funny (male asses anyway).
Do you think Rectuma
would go over well in Tokyo?
How could it fail?
I’d love to see Toho remake it. Maybe a sumo wrestler in
a giant ass costume. The possibilities are endless.
Rectuma vs. Godzilla. MegaRectuma. Rectuma Unleashed.
They’d eat it up like Sushi. I think the Tashira
character (who talks out of sync) would lose something
in the translation though.
How did you get the ball rolling on Rectuma?
Just like any other film I’ve done. You start with a
script. You re-write the script. You re-write THAT
script. You realize it sucks and toss it away. You start
over again. You re-write what you just did. You realize
that sucks too and toss it away. You go back to the
original concept. You re-write the original concept. You
start thinking this is the stupidest idea for a motion
picture ever conceived and you have no talent to write a
movie. Then you think about the Matrix sequels, Star
Wars prequels, and anything produced from 70s television
shows. Then you realize that you’re not such a bad
writer after all.
How did you round up funding for the film?
I skipped lunch for about three days. It really
wasn’t that expensive of a movie to produce. In fact, if
you knew the actual budget, you’d think I was lying.
I’ll tell you this, taking out a small ad in the LA
Weekly exceeds the budget of the film.
Did people shy away from being connected to a film
about a killer butt?
A few. But once we weeded
out the riff raff, we got a GREAT team of actors. The
devotion I got was phenomenal. Usually somewhere during
the making of a film, at least one actor will fuck me
up. Either they’ll quit, show up less, or just plain be
difficult. This was the smoothest shoot I’ve ever had.
In fact, many actors would come by and help out behind
the scenes on days they weren’t acting. That’s pretty
damn cool!
When Waldo visits his proctologist, there are a
bunch of posters on the walls featuring a character with
an asshead wearing a turtleneck sweater. Who created
those? They’re hilarious!
I drew them myself.
That’s Randy Rump. We all remember “Timmy Tooth” from
grade school, don’t we? Well, this is sort of the “Timmy
Tooth” of Proctology. The proctologist scene was
originally a lot longer and in an earlier cut, you were
able to see even more posters. They said things like,
“Randy Rump says: That extra tortilla will give you
diarrhea” and “Randy Rump says: “The job isn’t done till
the residue’s gone,” and “Randy Rump says: Eat lots of
bran, keeps your poo firm and tan.” I see this possibly
becoming a Saturday morning cartoon character.
What did it take – effects wise – to turn an ass
into a gigantic killing machine?
Originally we
were going to use a real ass. I have a very big friend.
He weighs over 300 pounds. I thought his ass would be
perfect. Then when it came to pre-production, I couldn’t
get anyone who would be willing to film it. So we went
to plan B. Rectuma itself is a combination of many
things. It’s a mechanical ass, it’s the bend in my knee,
it’s the bend in my arm, it’s computer generated. It’s
never a real ass.
So, you’re getting ready to do some midnight
screenings of Rectuma
at the Sunset 5 in Los Angeles. How have you been
promoting the film? I hear you ran into some trouble
with Adelphia Cable.
Yeah, we’re very excited
about the midnight shows. The folks at the Laemmle
theatre have been great and very helpful. Regarding the
esteemed Adelphia cable…what can I say? I went ahead and
cut three slick 30 second tv spots. They’re great. In
fact, they’re on my website. So I make a deal with
Adelphia cable to run them throughout the month of April
on Comedy Central, during shows like "South Park" and
“The Man Show”. I send them the spots and a check. You
can’t imagine the shock I got when they called me up a
few weeks later and told me that the spots were
‘inappropriate.’ I thought they were joking. I asked
them, “Do you folks even watch Comedy Central? Are you
familiar with 'South Park'? 'The Man Show'?” There was
no arguing with them. They wouldn’t take the spots. God
forbid my tv spots should take down the level of all the
"Girls Gone Wild" ads that are run on the network.
Everyone hates this question, so I’m going to ask
you – Which of your films are you most proud of?
And everyone hates this answer, since most
filmmakers will say the same thing. My films are like my
children. It’s hard to favor one over the other. Each
film has a charm and personality that I’m proud of.
"Polish Vampire in Burbank" was my first child, and I
will always have a special place in my heart for that
one. "Curse of the Queerwolf" was my edgy, smartass kid
who knows how to survive on the streets. "Deathrow
Gameshow" was my first 35mm child and he’s the
responsible kid. "Buford’s Beach Bunnies" was sort of my
bastard child, made for an erotic film company that
liked my style of humor. "Nudist Colony of the Dead" was
the kid that had potential, but because it was shot with
crappy, outdated super 8 equipment, it’s sort of the
retarded kid who sits and drools at the corner of the
dinner table and most relatives tolerate but ignore him.
"Color-Blinded", the first film shot in the digital age,
is the mature one of the bunch, kind of like the one
with the highest I.Q. Finally, Rectuma
is the kid that went to college; it’s the smartest,
funniest and will probably go the farthest, making daddy
proud.
What’s your dream project?
I’d like to
make a Jesus film, with alternate endings.
Last question – Do you know how to properly wipe
your ass?
Why diagonally of course.